It's happen
For years, I've been dealing with my self about my on and off emotional issues, sometimes I'll be happy, sometimes I'll be sad, just like a rollercoaster. And for some reason (or maybe for that reason), I started to hate myself for being this awkward. I grew up being a good girl who always smile and be nice to my neighbor everytime I met them, then after some years and some events, I started to ignore them, not even smiling, not even looking at them. I'm scared, too shy or just being like that.
If I think about that look-alike-canon-event now, I think that's just how I grew up, changes happen to me. Did you feel the change too? How it lefts you feel?
The worst case for me are from 18-20, dang, feels like all of my friend are faaar away from me, this one person being this, this one having this, and I felt kind of, left alone, just like a leftover.
But I proud of me for a lot of things, the time before now is so complicated and I still can manage that! If I think again, if I didn't finish that tangled thread at such a yooung age, It may hold me back in the future. And, I still always trying everytime eventho I cameback to the start, I've gained super power, getting up after a fall.
Maybe that's why I can be me, the simplest (or maybe theee biggest) comparison from who I am now and in the future with me in the past is I am more chill at everything that happened to me, if it's good I would be really happy and smiliiiing, and if it's not, I still be happy and smile, now I know that everything happen for a reason, and that bad day isn't an ending, thats just a temporary feeling, what about the happy time? eventho it's not forever too, I can see it in the future too, or I just make my happy day, everyday! I can make it myself, that's how I found me, that I can make myself happy while still want to be happy with my lova.
Yeah, things happen, I grow, and, this one thing my Ma would always tell me, "you are strong". I am, Ma, plus I'm happy too!^^
p.s. Thank youuu so much for anyone that know me in this lifetime, I reaaally am grateful to meet ya!