4 feb 25
Hello, it's February 4, 2025, I'm sad because of several things, but of course today is really sad because I opened the bear blog again, I don't know where to start, anyway today is really sad, until I get angry, can't control my emotions, the most felt when I arrived at work and got angry for no reason, hearing my partner buying a drink next door, which he likes to talk about, I immediately said, “you lick your own saliva”, which is weird because usually I just shut up and judge him inside. The second thing was the lid injection for the cup that was too big, my fingers really hurt when I put it in, it was really tiring, I was afraid of chafing my hand, it was really, really tiring. Then I went home, bought 2 servings of tektek noodles and got 3 crackers, 1 serving for my family including 1 cracker, another serving for my brother's family with crackers too, I brought 1 cracker for me and what made me angry was that my crackers that I brought were still asked by my sister, very sad because I couldn't refuse and very sad because my sister didn't understand, very sad. My boyfriend is really busy at work, just basic chat every day asking how he is and already, sometimes he doesn't pay attention to my texts, if I'm using Indonesian he goes through the text, I asked him and he just translated, like i was really tired, then when I video call him too, he's busy, I know, but I don't like being ignored, it's really lonely even though I have a boyfriend. Tired of wanting to tell him stories too, he doesn't pay attention, exhausted.